Enterprise Code Recovery
Somewhere in your organization, a critical system exists because someone typed "build me a payment portal" into a chatbot and pressed enter. That person is now in marketing. The chatbot has no memory of the conversation. You have questions. Let's talk.
Comprehensive solutions for when "it technically works" is no longer sufficient
Our experts excavate through layers of AI-generated abstractions to discover what your software actually does. We translate from "vibes" to documentation that humans can read.
Comprehensive audits for codebases where "just trust me, the AI said it's secure" was the extent of the security review. We find the vulnerabilities before the teenagers do.
For systems designed to handle 10 users that are now serving 10,000. We optimize architectures that were "good enough for the demo" but somehow became production.
Your cloud bill tripled and nobody knows why. Your containers restart hourly "for freshness." We bring order to chaos and actual architecture to "it's all in Terraform, somewhere."
AI is trained to be helpful, which unfortunately means "here's a factory pattern, three abstraction layers, and a feature you didn't ask for." We find the 5% of code doing 100% of the work and delete the rest.
Sometimes the kindest thing is to start over. Our Controlled Demolition service helps you gracefully sunset systems that have exceeded their "it's fine for now" warranty.
"AI is a powerful tool. So is a chainsaw. Neither should be operated without training."
— UnVibeMe Engineering Philosophy
A proven methodology for navigating from "nobody knows how this works" to "we have a roadmap"
We assess the full scope of your situation. How many people have the production password? Is your database actually multiple SQLite files in a Dropbox folder? No judgment—just facts.
We stop the bleeding. This often involves finding the 47 places where API keys are hardcoded, setting up actual monitoring, and gently explaining why "console.log" isn't an observability strategy.
Our engineers work alongside your team to delete, simplify, and document. We find the 400 lines your app actually needs buried inside the 12,000 the AI wrote.
We don't just fix and flee. Your team receives comprehensive training, documentation, and frameworks for using AI tools effectively—so they can move fast without breaking things.
Real recovery stories from organizations that thought "how hard can it be?"
"Our marketing team built an 'AI-powered customer portal' over a weekend hackathon. Six months later it was handling $2M in monthly transactions and nobody could explain the pricing logic. UnVibeMe reverse-engineered the entire system in three weeks."
"We let our 'AI-native' hire build our entire microservices architecture. We ended up with 47 services for a CRUD app, each deployed on its own Kubernetes cluster. Our AWS bill was $89,000/month. UnVibeMe consolidated us to 4 services and $3,200/month."
"The founder's nephew 'knew AI' and built our patient scheduling system. It worked great until we hit 50 concurrent users and it started double-booking everyone into the same 3pm slot. UnVibeMe found the race condition in hour one."
Yes, we've seen it before. No, you're not the first.
If your deployment process includes the phrase "and then we wait to see if it works," if your best developer is a large language model, or if your incident response plan is "rollback and hope," you may benefit from our expertise.
You can. And then you can call us when that creates three new problems for every one it solves. We'll be here. We're very patient.
That's not a question, but we understand. "Works fine" is doing a lot of heavy lifting in that sentence. Let's talk about your definition of "fine" and whether it includes "will continue to work when literally anything changes."
Yes. Our Rapid Response team is available 24/7 for critical situations, such as "the payment system is giving customers free money" or "we just discovered our user database is publicly accessible."
Professionally? Never. Internally? We're only human. But we've seen things that would make senior engineers weep, and we maintain strict confidentiality. Your secrets die with us and our extremely thorough NDAs.
Absolutely. AI-assisted development can be incredibly productive—when guided by someone who understands what they're building. We help teams establish practices where AI accelerates experienced developers rather than replacing engineering judgment entirely.
Not at all. Our engineers use AI tools daily. The issue isn't AI—it's delegating critical thinking to a system that can't say "this is a bad idea." AI is a force multiplier: it multiplies whatever engineering skill you bring to it, including none.
AI models optimize for helpfulness, not simplicity. Need a function to format a date? Here's a 200-line utility class, a custom exception hierarchy, three design patterns, and internationalization support you didn't ask for. We find what your code actually needs to do and delete the rest.
Take the first step toward a codebase you can actually maintain. Our initial assessment is confidential, judgment-free, and surprisingly affordable compared to your next major incident.
Active Incident?
Emergency Line: 1-800-UNVIBE-1
For situations requiring immediate intervention. If your database is currently on fire (metaphorically or, somehow, literally), call now.